Sorry again this took so long, and also this song would’ve fit really well a long time ago but well, it will have to do.
And thank you for everyone who bought me ko-fi even though I’m a slow bastard who can’t tl fast enough to save my life, you guys are the ones keeping me fed, and I like being fed hahahahaha ❤ also thanks kleep for feeding me raas chapters ❤ ❤
Shu Ning who couldn’t believe the sight lost his appetite. At night, Shu Heng asked him what he wanted to eat, whether it was just porridge, or soup, he should at least have something in case his stomach feels uncomfortable later.
Shu Ning did not talk to him, not only did he return to his own room to sleep that night, he even locked the door. Waking up in the middle of the night, Shu Ning’s face was ashen and with “surprise” he found that the one to climb into his bed was……Shu Cheng!
“You woke up???”
“No……Yeah, I’m awake, dad, why are you……”Shu Ning was so shocked that his jaw nearly fell off, but thankfully the sun had yet to rise, so his look of panic wouldn’t be seen by him:”Dad, why didn’t you tell me you came!”
“It was Heng Heng.”
“I’ve made big brother worry, but I’m not in a good mood today,”Shu Ning did not tell him the truth but it was not far from it, if things go south, Qin Yu Zhuo may have to bear the blame even if she hasn’t done anything yet.
“Can you tell your dad why you hate your mother?”
Shu Ning lay down and rested his head on Shu Cheng’s shoulder, then circled his arms around his strong waist:”Dad, I don’t hate mom, it’s just that we’ve been separated since I was young so it was unavoidable. Actually, it’s the same for mom as well, for me, she’s tried very hard to lessen the distance between us, I can see that. Dad, don’t tell mom what I said, I trust that she’s done her best.”
“My poor child, your dad is here for you in the future, I won’t let you suffer, not even a little.”
Digging a pit for my mother, complete! It was only a little over four o’clock, the two hugged each other to sleep, and they slept very peacefully. Int he morning, Shu Cheng had already left for work. Normally Shu Heng would rest by Shu Ning’s side with his clothes off, but he didn’t dare to do that today.
The look in his eyes were obscured as they stared straight at the little one’s face, did……he notice? Did he want to break this relationship they had?
The sunlight shone on the little one’s clean and snowy face, and the view of it was wonderful. Shu Ning wrinkled his brow and opened his big, beautiful eyes.
At this moment, a tremble rippled through Shu Heng’s heart, even his breathing shook. But Shu Heng just did not show his emotions on his face, he did not wish for it to show, and nobody could change this,
But in front of the one before him, he had thrown that little attitude of his away. Shu Heng had been studying psychology, but right now he was still at his wit’s end.
At this point, Shu Ning saw Shu Heng. He was sitting quietly on the sofa, dressed fully in black with his collar open, his legs crossed, and his two hands rested on his knees. He had an appearance of nobility and mystery, with a countenance hard to ignore like that of an emperor’s. It was also this person who stirred up his feelings, and like a fool, he was unable to free himself from these knots.
The end of their holiday had come, and Shu Ning had made Shu Heng leave with regrets. It wasn’t as if he did not want to ask, but he was always afraid that their relationship would be ruined by it. Shu Ning felt like a fool, he would rather hold onto this feeling, and waiting for him to marry before giving up, and he did not dare to face him either, his brother was just like that, treating him so absurdly well, where would you find a big brother who was like that? Perhaps the chances may be low.
Ah, how annoying, he’s my brother so I can’t fall in love with him, aaahhh, how bothersome!
Shu Ning shut his eyes tight, he had been down for the whole day but he felt even more depressed when he returned home:”What’s this?”
A car, of course. The bodyguards didn’t even know how they should reply to him:”This is the gift sent over by the Hong Xing young master’s men, in hopes that Young Master Shu will kindly accept this gift.”
“……”Fuck, it’s the latest Mercedes-Benz sports car with an open top, isn’t he just openly making fun of the fact that I’m not of age yet? But this is good stuff after all, peh, but this sports car really was beautiful, Shu Ning was very pleased with it and his heart was slightly soothed. he called someone to remove the floor-to-ceiling window and bring the car into the living room as a decoration, it was limited edition after all ╮(╯▽╰)╭
At nine o’clock in the evening, the time of Shu Heng’s unbreakable arrangement had arrived. The phone rang but Shu Ning did not receive it, he let the call drop on purpose and he did not even glance at it, he had already made up his mind.
Perhaps Shu Heng’s feelings were not deep, perhaps they were mixed up with their brotherly relationship, or perhaps……Either way he can’t have such a dubious relationship with his big brother, the two had no future together at all, and it was even more impossible to break the Shu family’s line of inheritance. Shu Ning sat painfully in the bathtub, if you had to endure the pain for a long amount of time, you might as well suffer for just a short amount of time, it was his own fault, and conniving Shu Heng was also his own fault. He had clearly been reborn with his memory intact, and since he can’t avoid Qin Yu Zhuo and her troubles, he could still reach adulthood by playing the fool.
But if he were to do things that way, Shu Ning wouldn’t be able to get his revenge, he would rather he hadn’t been reborn, and had just lost his life on his sick bed.
In just a swoop, winter had arrived, a slurry of snow was gliding down like goose feathers outside. Even though holiday season had arrived, Shu Ning did not return home, he wanted to study and this was the same with the other students in their third year of high school. The college entrance examinations were just months away, they would be done for if they don’t hurry with their studies. Shu Gao was gloomy about it, but Shu Cheng understood the situation, even Shu Heng had already returned home.
Shu Heng was standing in his room, pondering over things as he watched the snow fall. He stayed for three days then flew abroad, he really left.
And with this, Shu Cheng couldn’t stand it anymore, he went to the capital to bring the little one home. He was soon to be a hundred and seventy centimeters tall, and he’s still throwing a tantrum with his big brother? This one mess had lasted for such a long time that it was simply unbelievable, this was the first time Shu Cheng had pulled Shu Ning into the study seriously. With bright and piercing eyes, there was nowhere Shu Ning could escape.
“Heng Heng’s in M Country, he left because of you, are you satisfied now? What on earth happened, can you tell dad?”
“It’s no use keeping quiet, we’re only doing this because we care about how you feel, this was true for Shu Heng, it was true for your grandpa, and it’s the same with me, even Shu Yao had to run the other way when you’re at home, he’s still only a child! Shu Ning, I’ve never spoken to you in this way before, because you’re a very sensitive child, but this can’t go on anymore.”
As time passed, Shu Ning felt very upset. He had no way to speak of these matters, and thinking about it, Shu Heng also understood how I felt. As for dad, based on the experiences of his previous life, he would not stand by his side. As expected, Shu Cheng told him to stand there and reflect on it, harmony within the family was the most important, above all else.
Just like that, Shu Ning was punished to stand. Two hours had passed, Shu Gao gave Shu Cheng a call but Shu Cheng was reluctant to give up. He had only allowed Shu Ning to return to his room when Shu Heng’s call came. After reaching his room, Shu Ning stood by the window, staring at the moon, and a night passed just like that.
Punish yourself for being stupid, for the fact that you were actually blind to your brother’s anomalies.
The next day, both Shu Gao and Shu Cheng’s behaviours were slightly strange, but Shu Ning only cared about whether his grandpa was eating well, he did not even spare a glance to Shu Cheng. Shu Cheng felt sad in his heart, he was his own dear child after all. After their meal, he followed Shu Gao gloomily up the stairs, and was only willing to speak after sitting for a long while:”I’ll suspend Qin Yu Zhuo’s matters for now.”
That’s great, even the air was fresher when she wasn’t around, Shu Gao smiled while Sun Lin shook his head helplessly, coaxing Shu Yao!
Shu Cheng picked up the crying little child:”Let daddy have a look, is this necessary for a babysitter?”
“Fire her, she hit me! Fire her.”
“You naughty little thing, tell me, how many does this make!” Shu Cheng thought about it, they’ve already changed about twenty of them, this was enough:”Yao Yao, daddy watched the recordings, you were the one who threw rocks and cut her head, you were scared that she’d complain so you complained about her first, am I right? As long as you admit your mistakes, daddy will buy you the latest toys.”
“Okay, I was wrong daddy.”
Shu Cheng did not have the heart to call him a motherless child, who was to blame? If he were to blame Qin Yu Zhuo for having thoughts she shouldn’t have, then the ones who ended up pitiful in the end were all the children, this was true for Shu Yao, and it was even worse for Shu Ning. He was very stubborn, he may seem like a good and sensible kid normally, but he was in fact a child with strong opinions, and it was hard to correct them even if he tried, but if he went with his flow, he would feel himself undignified as a father.
During the New Year’s, something happened at home. Shu Heng stood in front of the bed, and Shu Ning’s eyes were red.
Shu Gao was still fine before sleeping, but he did not wake up in the morning, he had left sleeping very peacefully……The same as he did in his past life. Shu Ning did not watch on with a cold heart, instead, he had brought him to the hospital for a check up, took him for some exercise, and there was not even an inkling of any illnesses in his body, he died just like that. And at the same time, Sun Lin himself had taken some pills, and left a suicide note telling everyone he had gone off to take care of the old man.
What a loyal servant, it was the same as what happened in his past life, the two oldies had a good relationship with decades of time spent together, they could be counted as brethren.
The funeral went as could be expected, everybody did their best and the solemnity of the hall was incomparable, an endless stream of people came without stopping. Shu Ning’s heart was silent, he was thinking about his grandpa’s voice, and his smiles, he did not cry his heart out, but his eyes were very red.
Shu Cheng brought Qin Yu Zhuo back, they had to have a woman at home taking care of things. Dad was gone, as a daughter-in-law it was her part to cry, to show her filial piety!
The funeral lasted seven days and seven nights, both Shu Ning and Shu Heng had stayed there for the entire duration of it, and Shu Cheng even more so, he had even fainted twice.
Qin Yu Zhuo had been very haggard, taking care of all the mourning relatives, busying in and out, it was still quite a tiring job. Shu Cheng did not pay attention, he knew Qin Yu Zhuo’s ability, if not he would not have taken her as his executive assistant for so many years. Having a woman around was great after all, at least they were sensitive, and you could have a warm embrace whenever you were exhausted.
There was an ancestral hall within the ancestral home. To put it plainly, it was a simple but large house with their ancestors’ plaques placed within, and a family tree that could reach the ground!
This was still Shu Ning’s first time coming there. There was a slight hint of sluggishness in his eyes, these days had been too bleak.
Shu Heng did not dare to touch Shu Ning, it had been out of his expectations for his little brother to make such a choice, he had still rushed things and pushed it too much, destroying the harmonious relationship the two of them shared. After dreaming back to them in his sleep, Shu Heng landed a hefty slap on his own face, he regretted it. He looked so weary, and it hurts my heart so, I wish so much to comfort him.
Shu Heng’s gaze had been so full of heat, how could Shu Ning not have noticed it?
He had only been guessing before, possibly, maybe, perhaps, he might……he likes me. But now that he thought about it, Shu Heng may have fallen for him since a long time ago. This was unscientific, but he really existed, the two of them were blood brothers……Huh? Shu Ning’s pupils shrunk and leaned his head forward like a turtle.
What is going on?
That’s not right, something’s not right here!
Why wasn’t Shu Heng’s name in the family tree? Shu Ning blinked his eyes and rubbed them, then carefully eyed it up and down again. There was no need for that actually, because he was too surprised, he kept feeling as if he had cried so much that he may have gone blind and read it wrongly. But actually, it was clear as long as he looked under Shu Cheng’s name.
Under Shu Cheng’s name were only two people, one was Shu Ning, and the other Shu Yao.
Oh god, what is going on! This is impossible! Why wasn’t Shu Heng’s name there? Why? Shu Cheng loved him so much, he wouldn’t have removed his name for any reasons, then what on earth……he……Could it be, he’s not my brother? Shu Ning was flabbergasted and thrown into a state of fret and horror, he turned his head back abruptly, Shu Heng was right behind him, why did he not come forth? Was he not the eldest grandson?
“You……What is your relationship with dad?”Shu Ning’s lips quivered and his entire body was shaking hard, he could not steady himself and his body was going soft, he was only able to support himself with his willpower alone, forcing himself to hold on:”Who on earth are you?”
Shu Heng narrowed his eyes for a moment, did the little one notice the truth his stepfather did not allow him to reveal? Shu Heng’s gaze turned to show pain and pity:”It’s a complicated situation, I’ll tell you in the future, let’s settle grandpa’s matters first.”
That’s an excuse! Shu Ning could wait no longer, he shook his head and spoke irritably:”Who on earth are you? Why is your name not on the family tree? I’m the real eldest son?”
Shu Heng was very worried, he had to hold onto Shu Ning’s arms with his hands. Shu Ning pushed Shu Heng away emotionally and ran out, some of the relatives in the distance saw it and was quite surprised, they were curious but they were not qualified to enter the ancestral hall to look. Shu Ning ran into the pine forest his grandfather cared meticulously for and cried, Shu Heng had already caught up and took him into his arms.
“Ning Ning! Listen to me, Ning Ning, it’s not what you think it is, listen to me, I can explain.”
“You liar!”Shu Ning turned and threw a slap over, landing square on Shu Heng’s cheek.
Shu Heng did not care about his own body at all:”If I told you before you were of age, it would only become a burden to you!”
“I don’t want to hear it, you’ve been lying to me this whole time, I’m such a fool.”
“Ning Ning, stepfather treats me very well, he really does, I can’t be selfish, do you understand how I feel? You’re still young and can’t make your own decisions yet, if I forced you to do anything, wouldn’t I be worse than a beast?”
“You’re lying to me and you’re still making up excuses for it?”
“I like you, you’ve noticed that, haven’t you? There was no way I could’ve come clean with you, I don’t know whether you’ll like me back or not, and I can’t betray the Shu family after all they’ve done for me, I can only throw it all away if you loved me, but if you didn’t I would protect you forever, and protect the Shu family, I’ll protect everything you love.”
“Go away, I don’t want to hear it,”Shu Ning was too emotional and his brain was in a mess, all he wanted to do was escape. With another swing of his hands, another slap landed on Shu Heng’s face.
“Ning Ning, calm down, I’ve only kept it from you because I care about you too much, that’s why I’ve been dreading it, I’m afraid that just like right now, you would ignore me, refuse to see me, and even ignore my calls, I’m in pieces Ning Ning, please, I beg you, don’t be like that, calm down and listen to me, it really wasn’t my intention to keep it from you, just that stepfather ahs been treating me as his own son, and he’s given me the order to keep quiet on this, only a few people know about my background, grandpa didn’t tell you either, right? Everybody was just thinking about dad’s feelings, I’m sorry, Ning Ning, I told you that I would wait for you to grow up before I tell you a secret, I really had my reasons, Ning Ning, my Ning Ning, don’t cry anymore, my heart’s going to break into pieces.”
Shu Heng had never spoken so many words before, and he even repeated his apologies over and over, after enduring four slaps even the right side of his face was swollen, and he spoke so much that even his lips started to hurt.
Shu Ning couldn’t escape for this, he could only face it head on and buried himself in his tears. Shu Heng would wipe away his tears gently every time a droplet fell, he was afraid that the cold would hurt the little one’s face. Shu Heng’s coat was wrapped over Shu Ning’s body while Shu Heng was only wearing his sweater, kneeling on the ice on one knee, holding Shu Ning, worrying that the little one would be cold.
Shu Ning slowly stopped struggling, he wasn’t angry anymore, shrinking quietly into Shu Heng’s arms, his gaze hazy and eyes ruddy, then finally he burst into tears.
Shu Cheng heard that something had has happened, and he rushed over quickly, and only after seeing Shu Heng holding Shu Ning, comforting him, was he finally at ease.
It’s best to just cry it out, Shu Ning had been quiet these days and didn’t move, he didn’t even eat anything, this had worried Shu Cheng very much. Cry, my child, cry while you are still young enough for it, as the head of the family, I don’t even have the right to cry……
Thankfully Shu Cheng had only seen Shu Heng’s back, if he had seen the marks on his eldest son’s face, it may have hurt him so much he could die.
Shu Ning fainted, the shock was too much, if it was anyone else who had to deal with this, who could hold on? They were clearly mutually in love and yet they weren’t allowed to love each other, separated by their blood relations. The heart wrenching pain was unbearable, he had to numb himself and give up on this love, every time he dreamt of it at night, he would be overcome with sadness, and in the end when he wanted to steel his heart but couldn’t go through with it, a silver lining emerged from the cloud, he wasn’t actually his blood brother!
Brother cheating Shu Heng.
Son cheating Shu Cheng.
Qin Yu Zhuo who cheated her own son to death.
And the unregainable Shu Gao who died just like that……
He’s really had it with this family, as soon as Shu Ning slept he dozed off for two days connected up to an IV drip. Thankfully he participated in the funeral, if not, Shu Ning may have regretted it for the rest of his life.
Shu Ning had a dream, and in his dream, Shu Gao was standing with his hand behind his back, his demeanour deep and mysterious. Shu Ning walked forth step by step, and with his tears flowing, he threw himself into the old man’s embrace. Shu Gao lowered his head to look at him, and this shocked Shu Ning so much his pupils shrunk. Too young, way too young, a boy of similar age stood behind him, from his looks he could tell this was Sun Lin. Shu Gao pushed Shu Ning away gently and smiled as he took Sun Lin’s hand, walking into the fog.
“Grandpa, come back, grandpa, grandpa~”
The little hand waved about in the air frantically, and in the end he woke in fright as his hands caught onto a bigger hand, his body was drenched in sweat, it was Shu Heng!
He hurriedly threw his hands off. Shu Ning’s complexion was very bad as he supported his head with one hand, and with the other, he raised his hand to point towards the door.
But would Shu Heng leave? The answer was obvious. He had the character of a wolf and eyes sharp like an eagle, the look of the little one started to become complicated again, if he retreats now, then he may not have any other chance:”You’ve been unconscious for two days, everyone is worried, dad is busy with things after the funeral so I want to look after you.”
“……Get out, I want some peace.”
“I won’t bother you,”Shu Heng took up his phone and sent a text message, while Shu Ning grabbed a pillow and threw it at him. Shu Heng picked it up and put it on the bed, then Shu Ning threw it again, and it hit Shu Heng’s body. Shu Heng picked it back up like his punching bag, he was even more obedient than a pet dog, picking it up no matter how many times he threw it, as long as you were happy.
There was nothing by Shu Ning’s side anymore, and when he picked up the tea cup he hesitated for a moment, but still threw it. It landed on Shu Heng’s back and a “ping” could even be heard.
Shu Heng picked it up and placed it on the small table.
Shu Gao did not allow Shu Ning to drink tea or coffee, he wasn’t even allowed to have too much juice, it was obvious why this pot of tea was placed here, it was so that Shu Heng could freshen up, have I been unconscious for two days? The bruise under his big brother’s eyes were very obvious, had he not slept this whole time? Although Shu Ning was angry, his mind was still clear, he didn’t want to feel moved, and he wasn’t willing to either.
But Shu Ning loved him……
Shu Heng’s love for him had developed even earlier, this made Shu Ning’s heart tremble slightly. A very complicated look took his gaze, and he started to cry out again.
Shu Heng wanted to come over but Shu Ning yelled out immediately:”Get out! I don’t want to see you right now, please.”
Shu Heng stopped in his tracks, and clenched his fists, he was left with nothing better than the next choice:”Alright, I’ll watch over you from outside, the doctor will be here in a while and I’ll come in with him then.”
“……”Shu Ning’s head hurt very much.
The doctor had always been living in the ancestral home so he came very quickly, then both he and Shu Heng waited for half an hour together outside, waiting for Shu Ning to calm down before they entered. The check went by very smoothly, he had no serious problems and his body was healthy. The few days when the old man passed, Young Master Shu had been so sad that he had received a huge shock, and it was not strange for him to be tired after watching over the funeral all day and night, he had only fainted because of that combined with the overexertion of his body. The kitchen was ordered to prepare some porridge and some side dishes for Shu Ning to eat. Shu Ning refused to drink the water passed to him by Shu Heng, so he had to bother the doctor for the use of his hand instead.
The porridge arrived. Shu Heng took a look at the doctor and the doctor was borrowed again.
Shu Ning showed the doctor much respect but his hands just did not have too much strength, he had just woken up and hadn’t eaten yet. Shu Heng sighed and allowed the doctor to withdraw and rest for now, all sorts of problems came up in hs dad’s body too so the doctor can’t be away for long. After sending him out personally, Shu Heng spoke a few words with the doctor before returning into the room.
Shu Ning knew that he would not leave no matter what he told him, it was too hard for him to request for some personal space, so he decided to just lay down and avoid looking at him.
But the things he thought of when he closed his eyes, were still related to him. He himself went crazy that day, and he also tried to explain himself tirelessly, many words were repeated, this meant that it was chaotic in his heart too, unlike the usual composure he had. Just like that, Shu Ning who was filled with worries fell asleep again, but when night came he couldn’t fall asleep at all. Shu Heng brought out a violin and performed for him, hoping that Shu Ning could feel a little better.
He didn’t watch TV or played with his phone, Shu Ning had only been staring at the ceiling, listening to song after song, it wasn’t until Shu Heng took a sip of water did he ask the question that he doubted in his heart with a hoarse voice:”When did it start?”
“……”Shu Heng’s gaze was wanton, staring straight towards Shu Ning:”I don’t know, by the time I thought it through, it’s been at least two years.”
That’s not a short amount of time, Shu Ning blinked his eyes:”You……What on earth is going on?”
It was quite a mouthful to explain, but Shu Heng told him every detail, about the grievances of the adults that happened in the past. There was not much meaning in this, all that mattered was that he was to explain his birth, as well as the kindness shown to him by his stepfather. Shu Ning heard every word carefully, no wonder he didn’t know in his past life, it turns out that it was because of Shu Cheng, he didn’t allow anyone to mention Shu Heng’s matters.
Even Shu Gao didn’t mention it. Shu Gao treats Shu Ning very well but he had never mentioned it privately, he did not even hint at it.
In his past life, Qin Yu Zhuo had been so pampered, and Shu Cheng loved her so much, but even then Shu Heng’s birth was not explained to her. In the end, Shu Heng inherited the Shu clan as an outsider. Under normal circumstances, the Shu clan was a family business, it wasn’t fought over by Shu Gao and Shu Cheng. Since the main house couldn’t hold on any longer, the second house should’ve been the ones continuing the line. For example, Shu Zi Xuan, he was a phoenix amongst men so just the same, he could bring glory to the clan, and continue its splendour.
Shu Heng was ranked first in C City, whereas Shu Zi Xuan stood second, he had truly earned that second place.
“Where’s your real father?”
“He’s in the capital, I’m not close to him, my relationship with him is similar to you and Qin Yu Zhuo, he didn’t raise me and we aren’t close, however, stepfather has been getting me to reunite with him often after I became of age, he told me that everyone had their difficulties back then, and hoped that I could let it go.”
“The feelings of the adults are very complicated, and they always hoped that everyone could understand and empathize with them.”
“Ning Ning, brother won’t force you, but don’t shy away from me, okay?”
What? Shu Heng had a start, and stood stupidly by the bed like the most perfect statue created under God’s hands!
“Porridge……the porridge has gone cold, I’ll go warm it up,”Shu Heng picked up the tray and hurried out, the little one was finally willing to talk with him, both hope and fear mingled in his heart, jumping up and down. There was newly cooked porridge in the kitchen, Qin Yu Zhuo had also gotten hungry. When Shu Cheng came over personally to get some, he bumped into Shu Heng, and when the two spoke, Shu Heng explained to him that Shu Ning knew about everything now.
Shu Cheng was silent, and his brows were wrung into a frown.
Shu Heng knew what his stepfather was thinking, and he leaned over intimately, pulling Shu Cheng’s hand like what he had learned from Shu Ning:”We can just act as we normally do, he won’t tell anyone.”
“I know, Ning Ning is tight-lipped, but your matters can’t be exposed any more than this, if not bad things may happen, you are my eldest son and you will inherit the Shu clan in the future.”
On this topic, both father and son had a fierce discussion for several minutes.
Ning was hungry, and Shu Heng could not change Shu Cheng’s mind with just a few words, so he just left with the porridge. Shu Ning was lying in bed waiting eagerly. His big brother had only left for a little while and he had already started to miss him.