I told myself “double releases every day hell yeah!” But I got distracted 😦
On another note I am trying to make my sentences seem more uh… English; Reading back on the first chapter I did I realized how strange everything sounded when I tried to make the translation flow more towards the Chinese direction, it’s more localized now.
Due to the embarassment of the youngboy the voice in the darkness was as gentle as a feather, yet it was extremely serious, as if it were a vow.
Ling Xia’s body trembled unconsciously, this child……is serious.
His hand had already started moving mechanically along with Yu Zhijue’s……
The young boy’s panting that was hard to constrain had sounded in the darkness, illicit and full of temptation, Ling Xia closed his eyes embarassedly.
This is the last time, I can’t do this again……
During the night Yu Zhijue hugged Ling Xia’s waist and plastered himself to his chest and slept, Ling Xia looked out at the few winter stars outside the window in a daze, he felt extremely bothered in his heart.
Although he had never smoked in his life, he urgently wished there was one in front of him now.
Ling Xia lowered his head, he could faintly see the contours of Yu Zhijue’s face, the other party breathed evenly, he was clearly sleeping very sweetly. He had never been liked by anyone in such a way before, If Yu Zhijue were a girl, it didn’t matter whether he was a minor or not, he reckons he would’ve probably yielded, and then he would wait for her to grow up……
However, he imagined a scene where two men were living together, in mutual love, and his scalp tingled. He remembered that during his university days there was a boy living in the dorms who gave him a kiss on the cheek as a joke, he was so disgusted at that time he nearly threw up. If it were a man, he really could not accept it.
This child is really quite outstanding, he could imagine, after three or four years, he could attract the attention of all the girls. So, he should not be like this……
This is what is called better to hurt for a short while than to hurt for a long time, the later some things are explained, the more cruel it is.
Ling Xia inwardly decided.
The next morning, Yu Zhijue noticed that they had slept in an embrace as soon as he woke up, he quickly remembered the nightly endeavours of the two, and his ears blushed red. He tried to act natural and lifted his head, and suddenly saw two panda eyes.
Ling Xia turned his face with a some intent to avoid him, with a slightly hoarse voice he spoke:”Ah Jue, you’ve awoken?”
He couldn’t sleep all night, and now the early morning sunlight had shone in, he could easily see the chaotic state of the room–Due to that fierce make out session last night, the originally tidy room fell into disorder.
Yu Zhijue clearly remembered it, he quickly turned his head elsewhere:”Mm……Why do you look so dispirited?”The Yu Zhijue during the day clearly was not as gutsy as the him during the night, towards this young man who had just started to understand love, he was so innocent that he could not bear to hurt him.
Ling Xia sat up and briefly tidied up collar that had been torn apart, he paused for a few moments when he saw the red marks on his clavicle, then he quickly stood up and tied up his belt as well.
He mechanically tidied up the room, and slowly tried to speak: “Ah Jue, that, there are some words that I must say to you.”
“Ah Jue, you couldn’t still be asleep are you? I want to come up with a new move, test it out with me at the practice field!”Song Xiaohu’s spirited yell sounded out from outside.
Ling Xia really wanted to choke the protagonist to death, the lines that he had spent all night mulling over, do you think it’s easy to muster up the courage to say it out?
Yu Zhijue quickly walked out, when he reached the door he shot a glance at Ling Xia, and quickly turned his gaze elsewhere.
The early morning sunshine landed on the adolescent’s delicate face, it could remind a person of many beautiful things, such as dewy green leaves, the first lotus to bloom after the rain, the drifting clouds in the azure sky, and so on.
“Wait for me to return in the afternoon, let’s eat together.”As Yu Zhijue finished his sentence, the edge of his mouth slightly curved upwards, and he disappeared out the door.
Ling Xia slowly put the candle back on the table, he would very much like to hold a pillar and smash his head in a few times, how did it come to this?
After tidying up the room and having a simple meal, Ling Xia took out the half-designed schematics, but his heart felt so bothered that he couldn’t continue drawing. He went straight out to the river outside, quietly watching the river water in a daze.
His bout of struggling was all so that he could change the final fate of Yu Zhijue, not to abduct teenagers to go down the gay road……
Ling Xia miserably sighed in shamelessness, to tell the truth, recalling how frighteningly mighty Yu Zhijue’s vigour was last night in the darkness, he even had an urge to run off. He was like a frog caught in the bite of a snake, there was no possibility for him to resist at all……Can he still let this develop on? Thankfully Yu Zhijue didn’t know much, otherwise sooner or later his chrysanthemum couldn’t be safe!
Thinking of it this way, Ling Xia would sigh for a moment, and shake his head for another, he had sat dazedly by the river for one morning, till Yu Zhijue had returned and he still didn’t notice.
“What’s with you?”Yu Zhijue’s brows furrowed, he had been watching Ling Xia for a good while.
Ling Xia stumbled with a start, and reflexively took out a green silk handkerchief to wipe the sweat from Yu Zhijue’s forehead, when he saw the faint blush on Yu Zhijue’s ears, and only now did he realize that his actions were improper, he could only brace himself and wiped it clean.
“Where’s Xiaohu?”Ling Xia looked behind.
Yu Zhijue carefully observed Ling Xia’s profile:”He’s still at the practice field, why were you sighing just now?”
Yu Zhijue had naturally won thie battle, Song Xiaohu didn’t want to accept it, and improved his new move step by step at the practice field, Yu Zhijue left him alone.
He also didn’t know why, but they had only separated for four hours, and he had already felt unbearable, he wanted to return even before they had battled, to take a good look at this person.
Ling Xia’s movements had become quite clumsy under Yu Zhijue’s bright gaze that concealed a searing heat, he really doesn’t understand, which part of him could attract the other party? Can’t men just mutually admire each other? How could a feeling of love sprout?
Fortunately Yu Zhijue didn’t come over to hug him and what not, Ling Xia felt relieved.
Ling Xia quietly put some distance between him and Yu Zhijue, watching the surface of the river he inwardly took a deep breath, mustered up his courage and said:”Ah Jue, there’s something I must tell you, you……first promise me you won’t be angry.”
Yu Zhijue’s sensitive sixth sense had already noticed his avoidance, and an ominous promonition filled his heart:”What do you want to say?”
“Ah Jue……that, that thing from last night……”Ling Xia didn’t dare to look at Yu Zhijue’s expression, he lowered his head and spoke in one breath,”I really don’t like……that isn’t good……kissing, and those other……it’s not right for two men to be together like that……”
The pressure surrounding the area got lower and lower, he couldn’t help but stutter as he spoke, but still bravely:”I really like Ah Jue……But……Not that kind of relationship……if a man were to be with a man people will laugh, Ah Jue you will find that women are also very wonderful……”
Yu Zhijue clenched his fists tightly, his white teeth had almost bitten through the skin of his lips to draw blood, he interrupted Ling Xia’s words and spoke hoarsely:”What do you mean? Are you in love with that Murong Xue?”
Although the adolescent’s voice strained itself to remain calm, it had brought with it anger and sadness that was hard to conceal, Ling Xia felt so guilty he wanted to bury his head in the dirt.
Did he hurt this child in the end?……
Ling Xia forced himself to continue speaking, as he started speaking, his words came out more and more smoothly:”No, I treat her as if she were my sister. But similarly, I treat Ah Jue and Xiaohu the same, I see you both as my younger brothers……”
In actuality they still were not the same, in his heart he was more partial towards Yu Zhijue, he worries for this stubborn young boy, but at this time, he can only say it in such a way.
Yu Zhijue’s chest heaved rapidly, he could not believe it at all. At night they had clearly……This man had still held onto him, the two were kissing so intimately, doing things that made one’s face red and heart beat yet extremely comfortable……
He gritted his teeth and interrupted Ling Xia:”I don’t believe it! You promised that you would always stay by my side!”
Ling Xia braced himself and lifted his head, he suddenly saw the two beautiful eyes staring fiercely at himself, at that moment that pair of eyes were sad yet angry, just like an injured little wolf. He reflexively spoke:”I’m sorry!”
Last night this man had also said sorry, yet it gave him so much joy that he felt as if he were going crazy, but now……it felt like a big hole had been torn open in his heart, like an empty void, and at the same time it was so painful he found it hard to breathe.
This man, said that he and Song Xiaohu, and even Murongxue were the same, that there was not a bit of difference……
This man, would be like the others, marry a woman in the future, and live with her?
Yu Zhijue’s breathing grew quicker, with a forceful movement from his leg, he had held Ling Xia and fell into the river.
The calmness of the river flow was suddenly broken, Ling Xia was caught off guard, he asked in horror:”Ah Jue?”
The two were quickly consumed by the river water.
Ling Xia’s ears buzzed due to the sudden water pressure, by the time he adapted his eyes to the environment at the bottom of the river, only now did he realize that Yu Zhijue is pressing down sternly on his shoulders, in a position that was very close to himself!
The two sunk into the river, they were very close to each other, those beautiful pair of breathtaking eyes stared at himself without blinking……Ling Xia had even felt that the other party wanted to kiss him.
He twisted his head in embarassment, but Yu Zhijue kept his body steady, he did not make any movements at all.
Ling Xia quickly ran out of air, he struggled to surface from the water, but was stubbornly pushed down by Yu Zhijue time by time.
Ling Xia suddenly turned his head again, and only now did he notice the daunting look in his eyes.
This child is trying to drown him?……Ling Xia’s heart felt stunned, his whole body trembled.
But he quickly denied the thought, because although Yu Zhijue’s gaze made one terrified, it was full of sadness.
–He was waiting for him to take the initiative to kiss him!
Ling Xia suddenly understood Yu Zhijue’s meaning, he yelled in his heart: Fuck! How black-bellied is this child!
He knows, now that he had explained everything, he can not compromise with him no matter what……
It’s only going to hurt for this while, it will be fine in the future……
His brain’s response slowly became sluggish, both his ears began to ring, his limbs had gone soft, even the scene in his eyes began to waver……
Yu Zhijue waited quietly, waiting for that man to close in when he couldn’t bear it anymore, then he could kiss him, and pretend that the other party was just making a joke earlier……
As time passed by, he could clearly feel the discomfort that Ling Xia was in, his body had even begun to twitch, yet he had never came over from start to finish.
He watched Ling Xia’s eyes that had gone slack as if he were a piece of wood, his heart was in a mess, yet he was thinking back on the scene in the ocean from before.
At that time, even if the other party was unconscious, in his embrace he was so obedient, even if they were drifting around in the vast ocean, he felt joyed as if the entire world belonged to him.
Now regardless of what this man said, would the other party have only him in his eyes for the rest of his life? Never to see anyone else again?……
But, at the thought of not being able to see this person ever again, his whole body began to shake uncontrollably.
That sort of feeling, he did not want to experience it again……The one in pain was clearly the other party, yet his own chest hurt so much he could barely breathe……
Yu Zhijue fiercely pulled Ling Xia and jumped out of the water, he crudely left him at the shore.
Ling Xia’s hair plastered messily over his face, he coughed out several mouthfuls of water, and his limbs felt sour and weak–Thank god he had restrained his breath early, if not he really would’ve died!
But thankfully, his bet was right.
Yu Zhijue stood coldly and watched his flustered look, a light smile curved on the edge of his mouth:”As you wish.”
He feigned calmness and walked away, but actually his chest felt unbearably painful.
With every step he took, he left this person one step further, he could already feel that unbearable pain.
Ling Xia finally recovered some strength, his face that had gone green had also slowly recovered its redness.
He dazedly watched Yu Zhijue’s back, He knew how much this stubborn child was suffering right now–just like the him from those days.
After a long time, he mouthed wordlessly:”I’m sorry.”
Chrysanthemum – Butthole